A Date with Destiny by Acelegin

Disclaimer: This story contains Male on Female sex. It is also of a humorous nature.




The year is 12... something... sometime in the 1200s, I don't know. Our protagonist? The Ace Of Chaos. Of course, this is near the beginning of his story, so he doesn't go by that title yet, but we're calling him that anyway, because fuck you.

So, he woke up on the shore of a river. He got up and rubbed his eyes, trying to recall what had just happened.

He had been shown his death by the Vision. He was saving people from a horse-drawn carriage which went out of control. Then this crazy guy wearing an operator symbol hopped on board with knives and attacked him. The Ace Of Chaos drew his gun and shot the man, but a group of other men standing off to the side shot him with several arrows, and he bled to death. But that was just a vision. Things ended up playing out differently.

Now, you're probably thinking “But Acelegin, this is the 13th century! Guns don't exist yet!”

Well, shut up! I'm telling this story! If I say the Ace Of Chaos had a gun, he had a God damned gun!

Now, the fuck was I? Oh, right, the carriage thing.

So, when the event actually rolled around, and he drew his gun on the man with the knives, he ended up missing and shot the horse, causing the carriage to topple off the cliff. The arrows missed because of this, and the guy with the knives accidentally stabbed himself. The Ace Of Chaos managed to save himself with a grappling hook. Yes, he had a grappling hook. Shut up.

So, afterwards, he lowered himself into the water and let the tide carry him. He dozed off a some point while drifting, and washed up on the riverbank. So there he was.

He sat there for a while, before the Vision showed up. She was stunning, with impossibly beautiful features. Her hair was long, straight, and bright orange. Her fingers ended in long talons, made of a red, chitin-like substance, and a pair of wings sprouted from her back, made from the same substance as her claws. She wore a long, blue dress, which was opened up in the back to allow her wings to move. She stared down at the Ace Of Chaos with her giant pupils.

“Oh, hey there, Dollface,” he said.
“You are quite stubborn, “she said.
“Actual, I survived on accident this time,” he said.
“None-the-less, you have defied death ten times now,” she said.
“Thirteen,” he corrected her.
“You've somehow managed to impress me, human,” she said.
“So, you gonna show me my next death now?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “Not this time. This time, I come to you with an offer.”
“What kind of offer?” he asked.
“I have few devoted servants now-a-days,” she said. “I have several cults, but they are all distant. There a few who are worthy of being my Scions. My offer is to make you one of my Scions.”
“A Scion, huh?” he said, getting to his feet and stroking his chin. “You mean you wanna break off a bit of your consciousness and seal it within me?”
“Should you accept,” she said.

He paced around for a moment, considering her offer. He made his decision, and approached her. Up close, she seemed even more beautiful, almost intimidatingly so, but he approached her anyway. He stood, a foot away, and locked eyes with her. He smiled, and closed his eyes.

“Pass,” he said.
“Excuse me?” she asked.
“I pass,” he replied. “It's a tempting offer, but being your servant isn't what I want.”
“Then what is it you want?” she asked.

He grabbed her by the wrists and drew her in, planting his lips on hers. Wide eyes widened in shock for a moment, but she closed them as she became lost in his embrace. After a minute, she forced herself to break away from him.

“I don't understand,” she said.
“So there's actually something in this world that the eldritch woman with knowledge surpassing human intelligence doesn't understand?” he asked.
“Why?” she asked. “I've tormented you for years. I've forced you to bare witness to your own demise over and over again. Why would you kiss me?”

He pulled her back in and wrapped his arms around her.

“Do I need a reason to fall in love?” he whispered in her ear.
“I'm a Fear,” she said. “A monster who exists to create chaos among the living.”

He pulled back and looked her in the eyes, smiling.

“Do I look like I give a damn?” he asked.
“Falling in love with a creature like me is a dangerous thing to do,” she said.
“I like danger,” he said. “Or did you miss the part where I jumped onto an out of control carriage to save a bunch of people I didn't know?”
“I am a fiend,” she said. “I am darkness, an incarnation of fear itself.”
“Darkness?” he asked, chuckling. “Your light glows brighter that the sun itself. No angel could ever surpass your beauty.”
“Do you believe that to be true?” she asked, blushing.
“I know it to be true,” he said.

He leaned in and kissed her again. He hugged her passionately, and she couldn't help but hug him back. Her heart was racing. Did she have a heart to begin with? She couldn't tell. She had become lost in the moment. She was filled with all sorts of feelings. Feelings she had never experienced before. Just moments ago, she wanted him as a servant, for him to give her his undying devotion. But now, she wanted more from him. She dug her claws into his shirt and tore through it. The shredded clothing fell to the ground. She pulled away from him, gazing upon his body. His chest and torso had several scars, from his many near death experiences, and he had built up quite a bit of muscle from his years of running. She embraced him, and pushed her lips into his.

“I want you,” she said to him. “I want all of you. I don't know why, but I want you.”
“I want you too,” he said.

He reached behind her, and unbuttoned the back of her dress, allowing it to fall to the ground. She lay down on her back, and he lay on top of her. They kissed, and her brought his hand up to her chest. He reached under her bra, fondling her breast. She reached down, sliding his pants off.

“Give it to me!” she said.

He slid her underwear off, and inserted his penis into her. She gasped as it went in. It was painful and wonderful simultaneously.

“Keep going!” she demanded.
“Okay,” he said.

He continued, thrusting in and out. They were both consumed by ecstasy. She scraped her claws across his back. He winced, but continued., The pain felt good to him. She held him tightly, and folded her wings around him, pressing him as close to her as she could. After several minutes of hot, passionate love-making, they both climaxed in perfect unison, in a moment of intense, orgasmic pleasure. They laid there a while, panting. He leaned down and gave her another long, sweet kiss.

“I love you,” he whispered.
“I've never felt like this before,” she said. “That was amazing.”
“I know,” he said. He then thought for a moment and said “It's a shame that horse had to die, though. I feel bad for accidentally shooting it.”
“The horse survived,” she informed him. “Also, one of its descendants is destined to become a badass demon horse named Windmill.”
“That sounds awesome,” he said.

And then they became a couple, and lived happily ever after, until the Game Master killed the Vision, causing the Ace Of Chaos to go on a vengeful rampage.

Well, I think we all learned a valuable lesson from this. And that lesson is that writing erotica is hard, and watching a lot of porno doesn't necessarily make you any good at writing it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do some “research” for my next story.